The memories stagger in upon me chaotically, as in a fantasy . Insects stinging, drawing blood. My hands, my breasts, trapped in unyielding metal. My movements secured with hooks buried unfathomable inside my body: I am filled, I am owned. I walk like a marionette, with every step the hooks pull with cruelty inside my ass and my vulva. When I am released it’s just only to be stretched over a log and staked out in the grass; one more time I am left defenseless, unable to protect myself from insects, biting my open skin. My head secured in place with stakes and a gag. Shrieking as a worm is dangled over my face, crawling into my nose, squirming its slippery body over my tongue and my lips. And yet 1 memory towers above the rest of my anguish; gink called it the mala mansio.
In the box, this mind is a shell.
Where is my torrent of fantasy ? Here is the silence this follows the thunder and blood?
I breathe in this space, 4 corners no light- 4 corners this tie me
and
I am fastened into that location.
I am held here like a moon in vulnerable orbit.
My voice echoes so strangely from these aggressive corners.
Every moment my panic threatens to overtake and drown me.
Bloke has kicked the door shut: the echo surges through my exposed skin.
Some booming metal doom.
And now- the moving pics? The glory I was drenched in?
My eyes are open but there is merely darkness.
The warped dreams begin: whimsical worlds for reflections to inhabit.
They stomp over my fear; leave me restless, electric.
This girl in the box- slippery and throbbing: can it be?
I envy the moment of my recognition, some towering bliss.
Rusty walls tremble upon me. My fingers reek animal fear.
Hell is so small.
I lean over the precipice of some dangerous understanding. The red drums And roarings seem so far away; is someone there? A voice rings hysterical- A scream: my own?
This haze somehow soothing- the metallic womb. I float free from the Cords and tangles, free from the traps of reason. Free of every will: but that I have chosen.
Format: mp4
Duration: 45:27
Video: 1920×1080, AVC (H.264), 4801kbps
Audio: 109kbps